A rave lesson for boys

3 03 2010

We all love rave girls: they like to dance, have fun, stay up all night and they don’t worry about what others may be thinking about them (especially in regards to their outfits and dance moves). Their confidence and friendly manner are downright sexy, but sometimes it can suck being one of them. For example: homeboy just won’t let up with his hands.

There may be the rare occasion when someone could actually learn something from my experiences at raves. Maybe. However, these are merely observations and are therefore entirely subjective–but I’m sure I speak for a fair amount of girls who attend raves and find themselves creeped on.

It has been brought to my attention that men must often be aggressive towards women, which can be misconstrued as creepiness. It’s true, girls are intimidating beings and we appreciate an assertive guy, but there is a fine line between being aggressive and being an outright creep. Here are a few tips on how to respectfully interact with a girl at a rave and avoid being labeled as oblivious or sleazy.

  • Don’t approach from the rear: when dancing, girls are in their element enjoying the music and feeling the bass pound through our limbs. That being said, it can be very disconcerting when a faceless torso presses presumptuously against your backside. Personally, I am not at all a fan. Dancing the way we do nowadays things are bound to lead to this particular placement, but be a man and approach a sister from the front. We aren’t just bodies to grind on, ya dig?
  • Read her body language: I like to think that men are more intuitive than we girls give them credit for. Body language is a strong form of communication, especially in a setting where talking can be nearly impossible. Guys, you can tell when she’s not down. If she’s leaning away from you and keeping her face at a safe distance from yours, chances are she doesn’t want to dance with you let alone make out with you. At this point you should rethink your choice in dance partner.
  • WATCH THOSE HANDS: admittedly, raves are touchy-feely environments where hugs, caresses and the occasional semi-anonymous kiss are not unheard of. However, some of us girls are just interested in a dance. If you’re feeling like you might like to move those hands down from the lower back to you-know-where, rely on the previous tip: read her movements. If she becomes stiff and uncomfortable you are going to be able to tell, and that is your indication to watch it.
  • No means no… most of the time: girls are coy. Unfortunately, we don’t always say what we mean or mean what we say. This stereotype is true of a lot of girls who like to play hard to get or fancy their boys mind readers. I’m guilty, I’ll admit it. However, when I say no, I mean it. If I say my boyfriend is out of town, that is no reason for you to come back with a clever and oh-so-smooth rebuttal. Even if he isn’t in Trinidad it still means that I don’t want to dance/make out with you. Don’t make us say it flat out, spare yourselves the humiliation. When she says no, give up. Respect her wishes; if she was being coy she will most likely persist. In that case, let her.

As I said, these are merely guidelines I’ve come up with after far too many wandering hands and obnoxious creeps made me rethink my decision to attend a rave. I hope someone might take something away from these tips so that a rave girl somewhere will better enjoy her night out.